If the whole human race lay in one grave, the 
epitaph on its headstone might well be: `It seemed
a good idea at the time.' 

Michael Pollan knows what to do....

http://www.michaelpollan.com/article.php?id=97

Why does the man, dirty and soiled, with the creased shirt, smile more easily, speak more positively than all the those choking in ties, standing firm like the facts they know too well, forbidding them to relax, in case something in their attire shifts out of place, reveals something they'd rather not show... a roll of pasty flesh, squishing through the button holes, something out of their control, shaming but unintentional...like the business they do so well, to maximize profits so they can buy a larger shirt size each year.
There is nothing we can do but just improve on the system we already know is failing us. We must make changes from within the system apparently, a preventative measure to help seal the holes in the the levies, better this time, so the truth won't leak out again. At least not in our life time...

Why can't we feel between each other the same intensity without the music on in the background?

Shawn talked more than he looked at the road, the whole journey.
"Hey, yous wanna find the butt of a joint I left in the car door," he said as we pulled out of Natalie's the first time round. It wasn't unexpected.
"Sure, you want me to light it?"
"Yer, sure, I always like to smoke when I'm driving." He looked at me uncertainly, worried i might judge him. "It's the only way to drive such long distances."

"So everyone says.. everyone smokes and drives round here. Its pretty much tradition."
The longest Californian wave everyone rides, I thought.
Charlie had grabbed the back seat first so she wouldn't have to deal with the conversation making. I took a toke and thought about putting on some good music and settling into a long dazy gaze out the window. I wanted to pass out, but it was soon clear he wanted to talk,

"So this is your first time to the burn?"

"Yeah..."

"I can tell... you don't need all this stuff."

"I know but I've had to carry everything around with me this summer, because I don't have a place at the moment"

"Ok, well, seriously you don't need anything for this trip except drugs and a bed!"

"Is that what's in the brief case."

"yer."he looked at me defensively like I might try and thieve them. Or maybe it was paranoia. "Thats my contribution to the camp. My friends will provide everything else and I'll supply the drugs. Thats how burning man works." He looked at me triumphantly, whilst we sped down the 88 past cop cars and fellow burner mobiles.

"So whats in there exactly?"

"Oh a concoction of things. Name something and it will most likely be in there."

I didn't need to.

"Where do you get it all from?"

"I don't do it often. Its just this is my week to go crazy. For one week every year. Other than that I'm a well-behaved working dad."

"You're a dad!"

"Yeah you wanna see a picture of the little 'un"

"Wow she looks pretty grown up now."

"Yeah she's seven years old."

"Let me have a look," Charlie grabs the picture from me, "Wow she's beautiful. She's going to be trouble when she's older."

"Yeah I know" he sighed

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-seven."

"Wow you were pretty young to have a kid."

"Yeah I was but I didn't have much of a choice. I came over here like you did to study and got a girl pregnant." he attempted a laugh but he looked strung out.

"Shit man!" Charlie's unfailing tact.

"I know. She wanted to keep the baby so i thought i should come back out and be there for the young'un."

"Thats so good of you. Most men wouldn't bother." I say.

"So what happened, hole in the condom?"

"Nah, nah she was on the smarties..you know the pill but I don't know it must'nt have worked. But I'm happy I'm out here, yer know. I've started up my own business. I'm living in the sun, by the ocean in a cool city. Its alright fer me. I get to see my daughter half the week, the rest I have to myself."

"SO you split with this girl?"

"Well we were never really together, we dated but i was only meant to be there fer a year. I was actually with another girl back in Ireland at the time and I had to call her to say I had met someone else. That was hard to do on the other side of the world. I remember calling her, trying to explain why it wasn't going to work while this american chick was with me in bed. So that was broken off luckily before the other girl was aware she was pregnant. I found out when I got back and we weren't anything that serious. My brother had just got out of prison so it was a good time to get home. Yer that was tough and all, fuckin eedjit. The flaming gobshite is always in truble, breaking the law. Its like me when i was younger. I tried so hard to be a good'un but I feel into a bad crowd when I was like sixteen and ended up dropping out of school, because they caught me dealing."

"Really?! what were you dealing?"

"Ah back then I was into acid a lot but I hardly ever do it now. I think I was just bored like. But yer know how it is when yer young. Anyway now its all good. I started my own private painting business a couple of years ago. Got a few men working fer me."

"Nice."

"Yer, I told them all to have a week off because i can't trust them to get the job done properly when I'm not there. A couple of weeks ago I hire this one young irish kid who was getting mixed up in some dark business in san fran and he only went and got arrested. So I had to bail him out but now he's done a runner. he's only 19."

"Yeah there's loads of you irish in san fran. Did you all get married or what?"

"Na most of them are illegal. They set up bars and small businesses like me. San francisco is good and liberal like that."

"Yeah I would love to live there one day. We had the craziest weekend last month, partying with drag queens, hanging out in long beach, i love it there so much. There are so many freaks but its so expensive.

"Yer, i hardly go out. Some weekends I go out, pop a few, but rarely."

"How much have you got with you by the way?"

"Enough. i take up to 9 some nights. i don't stop. ey young wan, kipping in the back there can you grab me a little sashet of charlie, charlie." He turns his head right round to face her

"You want some."

"Right now.!?"

"Course, i need it to keep me driving, otherwise i'm going to crash"

"Have you even slept Shawn."

"Nah, its alright though. i feel good but when we to get supplies i don't want to be too long. i know what you's young wans are like" he pours out a tiny half line in the hollow of the back of his hand between thumb and finger, and expertisely snorts it up his nose, with one eye on the road, one hand on the steering wheel and...

"Are you sure you don't want some...?"

~

Many lines later we are on the road into the expansive landscape which makes us feel like we've morphed in to the insect world of size relativity, in our little bug mobile we are but a speck on the desert floor, spinning a trail of dust clouds behind us, arguing over which music would best suit this beautiful moment. A sunset, an open road and then cops...behind us accelerating theyloom in the rear view mirror, Shawn is oblivious jabbering more incessantly than ever at us with barely a grip on the road except our reminders. We had got to know him now, so we could shout at him.

"Shawn there's cops behind us>"

"yer I know they are everywhere, its ok. So I'm meant to be meeting this girl their from last year but I don't know..."

"The cops pulled out as they got closer and zoomed past us, with flashing lights. I was too tired to get scared. I was more scared about running off the road at 60 miles and hr. This guy was a lunatic.

"I'm not always like this yer...its just my one holiday, so i go all out for fucks sake a man needs a break. You want to drop a pill with me when we get their."

"Maybe"

"Go on, they are good. i'll give you both one each for free."

"I kind of want to take it easy on my first night."

He didn't understand. "you gals have no idea about what you are about to experience! i sometimes take up to 9 pills a night. As the saying goes, if their ain;t any spuds on the plate, then its only a snack."

"You may be lying in the gutter but at least you are looking up at the stars."

We arrive at the best time, in a desert dusk haze of settling dust with the twilight spreading from the east to meet the euphoric pink remnants of the sinking sun in the west.

Theme of the american dream cool but not so cool quotes

will yer,

fuckin eedjit da, gobshite, flaming, for fucks sake, Jaysus, fella, gimme, mingin, muggins , nah, shit the bed! piss artist. plastered. pikey thicko

Young wan..

The "Burn" man

He wanted to leave as soon as he had arrived. Charlie and I were still not ready but we threw all our kit in the back of his truck and left anyway, which meant we had to make one return trip to get my camera charger. There might have been a second, if we'd realized we'd left all our bedding for the tent behind earlier.
2 hours into the journey Nathalie calls to let us know that we'd left the largest bag we could have forgotten in the middle of her room. I lived with Nathalie for the last year in college and so she wasn't surprised we'd left stuff behind, nor was I, or Charlie, my best mate who I'd been traveling with all summer. I'd already set the tone of our seven weeks traveling together when I came a day late to pick her up from the airport.
~
I was on time and extremely happy with myself about that I remember, until instead of a hug I got a slap across the face.
"Where the hell have you been?" she yelled.
"What do you mean?" I was still innocent.
"I arrived yesterday" she looked at me with those 'typical Soph' eyes.
I was shocked, "No!" and couldn't help a nervous giggle, "Ooops..."
"I thought you were dead!"
"What! Why?"
"You said don't leave the airport until I pick you up and so I waited for hours and then I couldn't get hold of you, coz you don't have a fucking phone and after a while I just began panicking, imagining you lying in ditch somewhere dead!"
"You are so melodramatic!"
"Soph! How would you like it arriving in a huge city the other side of the world and your best friend just not turning up to meet you."
"So what did you do..."
"I called dad and he told me to go and buy a phone, which you can pay me back for by the way."
"You bought a phone!"
"Yeah, i've already spent 2oo dollars and I've only been here 24 hours. I had to stay in the sketchiest place last night."
"I am so sorry, Babe, I honestly thought you were arriving today."
"No. I told you in the email I was arriving on Wednesday the 30th. Did you even read the email..."
"Well sort of glanced over it, I can't remember. I just always thought it was Thursday. Shit, I'm sorry..." Last time I had to pick her up from Heathrow airport I was 4 hours late and this is how I had tried to make it up to her, on time on the wrong day.
"Yeah you might want to call your parents. They are all going crazy back at home..."
~
"We're going to freeze, Soph!" Charlie coughed and lit up a cigarette.
"Fuck! I knew we'd left something more important than a camera charger. I guess we'll just have to wear all the clothes we have and cuddle up."
Laughing Shawn obviously liked the idea of that. "We can stop and buy one on the way if you want. I had to buy one on the way a couple of years ago."
"How much was it?"
"$50"
"Shit, can't we just buy some cheap blankets?" said Charlie
"Yeah, I guess. I know where we can find yous some. Yous are'nt going to sleep anyway..."he glanced back at Charlie, one eye brow raised, grinning.
"Do you want to keep your eyes on the road, mate!"
Later Charlie wouldn't be joking.

I don't want to be happy and inane right now, but sometimes the walls between you and those who do, aren't thick enough. And who ever thought doors would make a difference?! Weed and music the perfect. It sounds like the perfect combination nextdoor. Maybe it would be more productive just to cave in right now....than spend the next few hours trying to resist only to cave in when people have passed out.
Going back to our ride to Burning Man... This guy didn't look like a nut, but he was. I walked into the kitchen to rescue Nathalie from the slow churning of conversation I overheard and introduced myself. He was stooped over the counter as if he hadn't slept for days. He stood up to say hello, and shit, he was tall.
'Hey' he muttered, looking somewhere over my head.
"Shawn right?"
"Yep". I had spoken to him twice last night, but I don't really remember it. He had called to say he could take us, then called back about 1am saying "Nah girls, sorry but I gotta go tonight?"
"Why?"
"I just got to go, thats all, I can't be waiting around. It's already started..." He sounded shifty, so I didn't bother trying to persuade him otherwise.
"Dam...Ok, well do what you've got to do then. Thanks for the offer anyway."
I'd hung up, passed out again while mumbling to Charlie we had no way to get us and all our junk there...then the phone rang again sometime later.
"Its Shawn. I'm still in the bay. I will pick you up at 8, ok." This guy has to be on something.
"Sure, sure," And so i knew it was Shawn, but I asked anyway, as you do.
"So you know Tom?"
"Tom?"
"Yeah, Tom. He said he knew someone who could give us a ride"
"Nah, I don't know anyone called Tom."
"So how come you have our number?"
"My friend gave me your number, and told me to call you because you needed a ride."
"Ok. Well...are you sure that wasn't Tom?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, how did he get your number?"
"He got it off Craigs list." I thought he was the one cracked out, but it turns out I was.
Of course! We had put an ad up 2 nights ago in Guatemala, and completely forgot. I needed to sleep, but we were on our way to a place where you don't sleep for days on end.